No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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