Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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