we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I love you. Go after that dick
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
