awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
