why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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