we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
