my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
