I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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