first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
