she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
