I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
