He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
being pregnant is like rehab
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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