your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
