you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i love accidental penises.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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