Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
