Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
