I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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