She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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