I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
