I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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