I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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