I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
