So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
