Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Who died my cat blue again?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
