Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
