Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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