): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
