I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
