I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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