I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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