its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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