And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
