So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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