He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
