getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We had sex on a dog bed..
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
