don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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