my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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