I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
