I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
