i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
