first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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