his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
