Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
