When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
