So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I came so hard my ears popped.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
