youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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