Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
