Duck Duck Cougar?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
