It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
