Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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