It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
