I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
