ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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